Why we need to get vulnerable to grow

It shows that leadership is not content with standing still. They’re looking to get better and to grow, and they’re comfortable in their own skin. It’s a signal to team members that their vulnerability will be accepted and encouraged. They can actually be themselves at work, which might mean being different, or asking questions, or being wrong. 

This is how remarkable conversations are had – the kind that don’t often happen when the traditional barriers of hierarchy are in place. If you we to look at an organisational chart, vulnerability flattens the whole thing out. Learnings get communicated from top to bottom, and bottom to top, and side to side. Those pathways are there to engage your workforce, find better ways of doing things, and ultimately build happiness in organisations and in people. It just starts with being brave. 

Real leaders cry. Real leaders listen. Real leaders let themselves be vulnerable. Most of all, real leaders are unafraid of getting things wrong. Because they know something is only ‘wrong’ if you’re not using it as an opportunity to learn and grow. 

Our ideas of strength are changing. This archaic version of a male-dominated business world with figures in suits never showing emotion, never offering praise, is losing ground – though not fast enough. These may be people of power, but to my mind they’re not real leaders. In my world of AFL, there’s something similar happening, too. What’s defined as ‘tough’ is different; it’s starting to change. That change can happen from the bottom up, but it happens with more speed and impact from the top down. Vulnerability is a big part of allowing change to be okay. I’ve seen it happen. 

At the end of 2016, the Richmond Football Club had a really poor year. There was a disconnect between leadership and players. So we started a process in a pre-season camp called the Triple H, where every player, coach and staff member got up and spoke about the greatest hero, hardship and highlight of their life. It was daunting. There were a lot of people who had held onto things; never spoken about them before. They revealed real hardships: family members passing away, illness, tragic circumstance. And there was vulnerability in revealing highlights and heroes as well. 

Some people are affected differently by this process. When there are five blokes sitting in a room who’ve had a close friend take their own life, but have never spoken about it because they didn’t know they weren’t alone, a deep connection is automatically created. That’s a sad connection, but it starts a conversation, it starts a relationship, it takes things to a more meaningful level. Among other things, that creates a better workplace straightaway.

Vulnerability creates a bond that’s hard to measure. For us, after we went through that process, we won the 2017 premiership. We had a confidence about our group. We knew each other better, we trusted each other better. We had an ultimate belief in each other. It brought success, but it wasn’t about the outcome. It was the journey of the whole year, and the emotional outpouring that everyone had put their heart and soul into. Vulnerability made us stronger as people and as a team. It opened communication and let us experiment and grow.

Putting yourself into a position of vulnerability means putting yourself into a position to learn. To grow as a person, as a leader and as a business. So be brave and open up. Sometimes it’s the only way forward.